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Trinity College
Trinity College
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Duke University
Duke University
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Your chancing factors
Unweighted GPA: 3.7
1.0
4.0
SAT: 720 math
200
800
| 800 verbal
200
800

Extracurriculars

Low accuracy (4 of 18 factors)

A Strong Trinity College Essay Example

Trinity College is a private liberal arts college in Hartford, Connecticut. With only 2,300 undergraduates, Trinity takes a focused, student-oriented approach to higher education. Students can select from both traditional areas of study and more unique, interdisciplinary ones such as Human Rights Studies and Urban China Studies. 

 

Read ahead for an example of an essay that a real student submitted to Trinity, as well as a breakdown of what they did well and what could be improved.

 

Essay Example 1 – The Interdisciplinary Science Program

 

Prompt: Personal Statement for the Interdisciplinary Science Program

 

As I delved deeper into the world of physics, chemistry, and mathematics in my advanced-level studies, I felt myself being pulled in by the allure of the unknown. The mysteries of the universe, hidden in equations and formulas, called to me like a siren’s song. And as I solved advanced problems, like calculating the tension in a bridge or understanding the kinematics of a vehicle, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to apply these concepts in real life. To this end, I always endangered my life by seeking challenges and opportunities to enjoy my dreams of real-world experience.

 

With that delight, I was bolstered to join my school’s Scientific Club, eager to further explore the wonders of the natural world. Too focused, my fellow clubmates and I spent hours poring over scientific journals like Science et Vie and conducting experiments and research projects, one of which was my idea of using the Piezo-Energy Generation Project, which later faded due to a lack of materials. But overall, I relished the opportunity to apply my mathematical and scientific skills to solve various equations and felt a sense of satisfaction as I unlocked the universe’s secrets one equation at a time.

 

As I continued to explore the world of science and mathematics, I became increasingly interested in the interplay between science and society. This thrill pushed me to attend different courses, including an introduction to quantum computing by MIT and Oxford researchers and artificial intelligence courses by Atingi. The very reason I attended and enrolled in those classes is that I wanted to know how modern science is done and how it affects our lives. Similarly, that is why and how I am particularly interested in the Interdisciplinary Science Program (ISP) at Trinity College.

 

What appeals more about the program is its focus on the interplay between science and society, comparable to its pairing of high-achieving students in their first year and beyond with STEM faculty to do original research. This is a perfect fit for me because it will allow me to continue to explore the mysteries of the universe and apply my mathematical and scientific skills to real-world problems. It will also allow me to work with STEM faculty who are experts in their fields and to conduct original research that can impact society.

 

Not to mention that the ISP includes a paid summer research experience, which is a fantastic opportunity for me to gain hands-on experience and further explore my interests at Trinity Laboratory. Additionally, I am keen to take advantage of this opportunity and work on cutting-edge research projects to help advance our understanding of the world around us.

 

In conclusion, given my experience and interests, ISP is a perfect fit for me. I am excited to continue to explore the mysteries of the universe and to apply my mathematical and scientific skills to real-world problems. I am also excited to work with STEM faculty and to conduct original research that can make a real impact on society. I am confident that the ISP will help me to achieve my lofty goals and to become a leader in science and mathematics.

 

What the Essay Did Well

 

Since this essay is for a specific program within Trinity as a whole, the strategy for writing a strong essay has some overlap with how you would write a “Why This Major?” essay. Namely, you want to explain how you first became interested in science, and how Trinity will support your educational goals. This author does a great job providing details that answer both of those questions.

 

For example, they describe how they were first “pulled in by the allure of the unknown,” and how their interest in the sciences deepened once they became interested in “apply[ing] these concepts in real life.” Their interest feels even more authentic thanks to creative, personal phrasings like comparing the mysteries of science to “a siren’s song.”

 

They go on to highlight their participation in their school’s Scientific Club, and research they did independently. Showing how they have gone out of their way to increase their scientific knowledge proves that they are genuinely excited and curious about science.

 

In the second half of the essay, the author lays out the reasons they are interested in the ISP specifically: namely, the opportunity to conduct research with real-world applications, and the access to a paid summer internship. These details show that the writer has considered how the ISP connects to their broader educational goals, which gives readers a clearer sense of what the student is hoping to get out of the program.

 

What Could Be Improved 

 

The author gives us a general sense of why they are interested in STEM, and how the ISP would help them develop that interest further. However, the essay would go from good to great if they dived deeper into specific STEM topics that interest them, and more concretely described how ISP would shape their college education.

 

In the first few paragraphs, the student mentions a range of science topics that interest them, from energy generation to quantum computing to artificial intelligence. While this variety shows that the student is generally curious, we fail to get a sense of their specific academic interests, which may make us feel worried that this student hasn’t spent much time thinking about how they want to focus in their field of interest.

 

Rather than providing a laundry list of STEM topics, the student would be better off describing one of their scientific interests, and explaining in detail the steps they have taken thus far to pursue that interest. For example, if they are interested in energy generation, they could elaborate more on their club’s experiment on using the “Piezo-Energy Generation Project,” by describing specific online tutorials they watched to refine their equation-solving skills, or their experience shopping at the local hobby store for parts.

 

The author could also provide more details about what specific role they see the ISP playing in their education. For example, when discussing the summer internship, they could write about their interest in energy production, and mention how they hope to connect with a specific professor who has done work in Piezoelectricity, and so may be able to help them find a job in that field. 

 

Additionally, the student would benefit from citing other specific features of the program, such as the semester-long seminar focused on research ethics, particular funding and publication opportunities, and the broader ISP community. Having the one example of the summer internship is a good start, but incorporating another program-specific opportunity or two would show that the student has really done their homework, and is prepared to take full advantage of the ISP.

 

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay 

 

Want feedback on your Trinity essay before you submit? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool, where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!


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