6 Diversity College Essay Examples
While working on your college applications, you may come across essays that focus on diversity, culture, or values. The purpose of these essays is to highlight any diverse views or opinions that you may bring to campus. Colleges want a diverse student body that’s made up of different backgrounds, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and interests. These essay prompts are a way for them to see what students can bring to their school.
These culture and diversity essay examples were all written by real students. For each example, we provide a first draft, what the writer can improve, and the revised version.
Example of the Diversity Essay Prompt
Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better-perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background-we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke.
Diversity College Essay Example, First Draft
Thoughts on the Essay and How It Could Be Improved
This essay responds well to the prompt, giving an example of the author’s experience as a member of the community while using some great imagery that keeps the reader engaged. There is also a solid narrative voice, which helps paint a picture of the author’s personality and who they are.
They’ve also chosen the right structure for the essay. The anecdote is vivid and relevant, pulling in the reader. Then, the last few sentences of reflection tie back to their experience to the bigger picture, to give a sense of how this connects to their whole identity, and especially their identity as a member of the Jewish community. Within the last few sentences, though, there is some room for improvement. The sentence about working hard to “bring out” their unique perspective could be scrapped in favor of a sentence that fleshes out their claim that these experiences have increased their pride.
Besides that, there are various places where they can smooth out choppy constructions for clarity and flow, and a handful of substitutions in diction they can make for stronger imagery; most of these are just final polishing touches.
The Revised Essay, Final Draft
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