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Villanova University Essay Example by an Accepted Student

 

Villanova University is a selective private school, so it’s important to write strong essays to help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll share an essay a real student has submitted to Villanova University. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).

 

Read our Villanova University essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

 

Want to know your chances at Villanova University? Calculate your chances for free!

 

Example

 

Prompt: Villanovans are known for “holding doors open” because inclusion is at the core of who we are. Take us on a journey through your background and describe how your life experience has shaped your understanding of the word “inclusion” (300 words).

 

“Y’all who’s loofa is in the middle of the hallway??
Someone finessed my pizza but I’ll let it slide…
Guys, if anyone took my blue scooter from outside my room could u plz make sure to put it back when ur done?”–G-House

 

These are all real text messages from my dorm group chat. I am one of the senior leaders in an all freshman-girl dorm, and through the trials and tribulations of 32 girls living together, we developed social norms such as labeling your food in the fridge (so your food isn’t “finessed”) and our cut-throat first-come-first-serve shower policy. We know that if someone leaves the common room too messy, that could mean a lecture for all of us so we try our best to collectively keep the dorm tidy. We also know the importance of our Sunday dorm jobs– to leave a well-kept dorm for the cleaning faculty creating a mutual level of respect between us and them. They are included in the community too. But we also have Friday night dorm bonding filled with lots of fun and laughter due to the well-functioning community we have been able to build– the benefits of inclusion.

 

Inclusion means to be a part of something. In this case, being a part of the dorm community, and an acknowledgment of each and everyone’s role in the community allows for things to run smoothly. Through the concept of inclusion, I have learned the invaluable skill of how to best participate in a community of people I did not choose, nor control and I hope to bring my experiences to Villanova next fall.

 

What the Essay Did Well

 

The sample quotes at the beginning made for a really strong hook for this essay. It immediately started the essay off with action and had the reader asking questions about how these statements would relate to the rest of the essay. The beginning of any essay sets the tone for what follows, so drawing in the reader with such bold statements kept the reader engaged as they went through the essay. These quotes also provided some humor which helped to keep the essay casual and fun.

 

This essay also did a good job of explaining how this student has experienced inclusion. Describing the daily routines and rules of her dorm gave a very tangible depiction of how she has learned to find her place among 32 other girls. Not only does this student discuss how these experiences have made her understand the importance of inclusion, she also mentions other important characteristics that help foster inclusion: collective action, respect, and bonding.

 

Highlighting these other traits in the examples of how she helped build an inclusive community shows that this student values these characteristics and knows how to foster an inclusive environment. This essay shows that this student has both an understanding of the word inclusion and that she knows tangible steps to take to create an inclusive environment. Showcasing both of these is proof to admissions officers that this student would have a large positive impact on the campus community because she would recognize the importance of inclusion at Villanova and take action to ensure it exists on campus.

 

What Could Be Improved

 

The main way this student could improve this essay is by including stories that show her actively creating an inclusive environment, rather than telling us policies that fostered inclusion. The essay currently relies on telling the reader what the community did—”We know that if someone leaves the common room too messy, that could mean a lecture for all of us so we try our best to collectively keep the dorm tidy.”—rather than telling a story and letting the reader see inclusion happen right before their eyes. Telling the reader what happened makes them feel more removed from the story, while showing puts them in the center of the action.

 

Much of the first paragraph could be rewritten to show inclusion in the dorm community. For example, the sentence above might look something like this: “After our Halloween movie marathon, my friends and I pushed the common room couches back into their rightful places and picked up the popcorn we spilled during countless jump-scares, happy we could save the entire floor an hour long lecture with just five minutes of clean up.” This sentence still shares the same facts as the one currently in the essay, but there’s more detail, revealing this student’s personality, and it is more engaging since the narration is putting the reader in the common room with the student and her friends. Employing this same tactic to rewrite sentences to be more descriptive and engaging would make the entire essay much stronger.

 

More Free Essay Resources

 

How to Write the Villanova University Essays: See our in-depth guide of each supplemental essay prompt for the Villanova University. 

 

All of Our Essay Guides: Don’t miss our essay guides for all of the top schools.

 

How to Write the Common App Essays: Learn how to write a strong Common App essay for each of the prompts, with examples.

 

Free CollegeVine Peer Essay Review: Submit your essay and get feedback from another student. Editing other students’ essays will also help you improve your own writing skills!

 

 


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Our college essay experts go through a rigorous selection process that evaluates their writing skills and knowledge of college admissions. We also train them on how to interpret prompts, facilitate the brainstorming process, and provide inspiration for great essays, with curriculum culled from our years of experience helping students write essays that work.