2 Successful Johns Hopkins Essay Examples
Johns Hopkins University is a private research university in Baltimore, Maryland. Known for its strong foundation in research, the world-renowned teaching hospital (Johns Hopkins Hospital) and Undergraduate Research Awards Program provide opportunities for students to get hands-on experience during their time at Hopkins.
Since Johns Hopkins is a highly selective institution, you’ll need a strong essay to better your chances of acceptance. Let’s take a look at the prompt, and how one student answered it. After, we’ll break down what’s working well, and potential areas for improvement.
Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.
Read our Johns Hopkins essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.
Essay Example #1
Prompt: Founded in the spirit of exploration and discovery, Johns Hopkins University encourages students to share their perspectives, develop their interests, and pursue new experiences. Use this space to share something you’d like the admissions committee to know about you (your interests, your background, your identity, or your community), and how it has shaped what you want to get out of your college experience at Hopkins. (300-400 words)
My fingers drummed across the table at a rhythmic pace. The musical beat played the chords of my growing anxiety. I ignored the triumphant cheers from the other groups as I held my breath waiting for our results.
My shoulders fell as a wave of defeat accompanied the empty screen. The only thing that arose was the doubtful thoughts belting in my head.
“I’m wasting so much time.” “Do I not have what it takes to be a scientist?”
The contrast of my dark skin and bright lab coat was noticeable in the laboratory. Yet, the white coat stayed on as I continued jotting my observations in my lab notebook. An array of different colored beakers decorated my workstation along with many pipets. For the duration of my eight-week internship, my partner and I had to extract DNA with PCR primers and show its dilution through gel electrophoresis. If done correctly, the DNA bands will appear on the imaging scanner. In other words, we had to grow resilience.
Along with our increasing failed attempts, our resilience began to blossom. Despite setbacks, our endeavor’s brought us closer to the scientists we worked with. “Success doesn’t come easy, if it did then it wouldn’t feel successful” one of our directors lectured. With those words, an inferno ignited as I put on my lab coat once again, eager to continue my attempts. By the seventh week, we were back in the imaging room awaiting our results. I held a pencil in one hand and my notebook in the other keen to note any areas of improvement. Surprisingly, the screen presented our DNA with zero contaminants. My heart skipped a beat as my face grew sore from my grin, eyes glued to the rows of perfect DNA bands– I felt successful.
This kind of prosperity attracts me about Hopkins,– a victory that is met with consistent labor. Being America’s first research university shows the resilience and dedication it takes to make the world a better place. I would like to be a part of this trajectory by working with Dr. Bastian and her fascinating investigation in advancing our understanding of the genetics of inherited neurological and psychiatric diseases. At Hopkins, I can continue experiencing success along with a community of like-minded people.
What the Essay Did Well
This essay does a fabulous job of conveying this student’s feelings through descriptive imagery. We understand their initial anxiety when they say “My fingers drummed across the table at a rhythmic pace” and “I held my breath waiting for our results.” Then, when they provide their internal dialogue second-guessing themselves, we understand their anxiety stems from self-doubt and a lack of confidence. We’ve barely begun the essay, and we have already learned so much about this student.
The student uses their lab coat as a symbol throughout the essay, bringing an extra layer of depth, nuance, and maturity. While it originally makes them feel out of place, “The contrast of my dark skin and bright lab coat was noticeable in the laboratory,” as they grow more comfortable and resilient, they welcome it with pride: “With those words, an inferno ignited as I put on my lab coat once again, eager to continue my attempts.” Using an object as a proxy for their feelings is a beautiful way to convey their growth and demonstrate their talent for story-telling.
Because this essay tells a story of how a student overcame a personal obstacle, we see so much of their character shine through. This student didn’t just limit themselves to discussing their interests, but really hit the nail on the head when it came to showing how it has shaped them, by framing their response in the manner of an “Overcoming Challenges” essay. This is a good example of not boxing yourself into one essay archetype just because that’s what the prompt asks for. Make sure you address the prompt in full, but don’t be afraid to elevate your essay with elements of other essay archetypes.
What Could Be Improved
Although this essay does a very nice job sharing who this student is, it could have used more elaboration on who they hope to be at Hopkins. Not addressing the school until the final paragraph makes it seem like an afterthought. As much as admissions officers want to know who you are, they also want to know how you will fit into the campus community. Therefore, it is a better idea to integrate resources and opportunities the school offers throughout your essay, rather than saving it for the end.
They could have compared the professor they want to work with to their inspiring director who taught them about success and mused over what life-changing tidbits Dr. Bastian will share. They could have mentioned a class that covers the nuances of DNA imaging that they hope to take to understand what their perfect bands of DNA mean. Maybe there is a club on campus for scientists of color that they want to join to collaborate with people to fully conquer their self-doubt.
There are many different opportunities that this student could have weaved through their essay to truly demonstrate how they would fit seamlessly into Hopkins, without sacrificing the descriptive narrative they have crafted about themselves.
Essay Example #2
Prompt: Founded in the spirit of exploration and discovery, Johns Hopkins University encourages students to share their perspectives, develop their interests, and pursue new experiences. Use this space to share something you’d like the admissions committee to know about you (your interests, your background, your identity, or your community), and how it has shaped what you want to get out of your college experience at Hopkins. (300-400 words)
As I stretch the rubber band to touch the edge of the cardboard strip, the fingers curl. I release the elastic, watching as the joints, made of popsicle sticks, relax successively. Finally, my project is ready. In the Biomedical Engineering section of the GAMES camp at the University of Illinois, we were asked to construct a prosthetic arm that could grip and move a block of clay. After hours of meticulous redesigning, I crafted a successful prototype and became obsessed with using engineering to tackle challenges in medicine.
The following summer, I explored bioengineering on a cellular level at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes, where a project on limb regeneration sparked my interest in biomedical research. I eventually pursued hands-on research experience with the USC Biomechanics Research Lab. In my project, I apply scientific principles to running to prevent stress-induced injuries in athletes. By analyzing video frames of PAC-12 athletes in motion and linking them to force plate data, I create videos and graphs for analysis. Comparing this data to athletes after a stress fracture, I observe differences that increase susceptibility to injury, ultimately improving the health of athletes using engineering.
From these experiences, I grew interested in majoring in Biomedical Engineering at Hopkins, where I find a distinct focus on hands-on learning. I am particularly excited to participate in design projects in the course “Rehabilitation Engineering Design Lab”. The uncommon structure of this course will allow me to design a medical device to fit the needs of patients with disabilities, which will then be analyzed in rehabilitation centers. Through this real-world approach to learning, I will strengthen my teamwork skills and address modern medical issues, furthering my interest in Biomedical Engineering through first-hand exploration.
As a top-tier research institution, Hopkins will also provide me with ample opportunities to explore my curiosities and build on my research experience from the USCBRL. In the Alzheimer’s Disease Research Center, I hope to work under Dr. Marilyn Albert in discovering new treatments for dementia. I became interested in neurological research when my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. As I watched her diagnosis progress, I became curious about the underlying biological mechanisms behind her decline and wondered how biomedical research could prevent neurodegenerative disease. In this lab, I will tie my personal interest in neurological research to my passion for improving medicine through engineering, making Hopkins the ideal place to explore my interests.
What the Essay Did Well
This essay starts off with a strong hook: “As I stretch the rubber band to touch the edge of the cardboard strip, my fingers curl.” This is intriguing, as the reader is urged to continue following the action of the scene and piece together what this student is passionate about.
The student uses personal examples, like their experience at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Institute and their grandmother’s Alzheimers, to make their passion for their intended area of study clear. It’s important to do this, to create a purposeful essay that speaks to who you are and why you are choosing a specific area of study, career path, and university.
The student moves back and forth seamlessly between their own personal life, and their plans for studying at the university. The writer always connects their life to their collegiate identity: for example, in the third paragraph it says “From these experiences, I grew interested in majoring in Biomedical Engineering at Hopkins, where I find a distinct focus on hands-on learning.” This narrative structure results in an engaging essay.
What Could Be Improved
A major weakness of this essay is how broad it is. With a more general prompt like this that asks you to “share something you’d like the admissions committee to know about you,” students often make the mistake of trying to convey their whole life story, and this student fell into that trap a bit.
Rather than telling us about the GAMES camp, the Stanford Institute, and their grandmother’s diagnosis, this student could have tightened up the essay by choosing one of their deepest fascinations and delving into how they will explore that particular interest at Hopkins.
They could include one strong, detailed anecdote, rather than squeezing in two or three that aren’t flushed out. There would be a central idea running through the essay that makes it very easy for the reader to appreciate what this student cares about, why they care, and how they plan to act on their interest in college.
It’s okay to not address multiple facets of your personality and interest in an essay—in fact, it’s usually preferred! Admissions officers will still understand the complexity of your personality from other parts of your application, but your essay will provide them with much more insight if it is focused and detailed, not a broad summary.
Where to Get Your Johns Hopkins Essays Edited
Do you want feedback on your Johns Hopkins essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool, where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
